Their Happy Ending
by Groundswell
Summary: Hogwarts has come to an end and Lily’s on her way home. But one thing is wrong, she and James are not together anymore and it’s tearing her up. Follow Lily in the times after Hogwarts as she’s trying to live without the one person she needs the most.
1. Home

Disclaimer. No, nothing is mine. Won't ever be so stop shove it in my face! Thanks! :D

1 – Home

Lily Evans was sitting alone in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, crying. She was on the way home after her seventh and last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but it hadn't been a happy ending of her long stay there. She had lost everything; her two best friends: Melanie and Victoria, her father and mother – which had resulted in her sister, Petunia, not talking to her, but most important of all: she had lost James.

It had been right after the feast and James and his three friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, had wanted to pull a last prank on everyone before they left Hogwarts forever. It wasn't a joke that had gone wrong, no, the joke had been very funny and Lily had loved it too, but in the end James said something that really had pissed her off. He had made it sound like she was just a little girl who could not take care of her own self and like… like he owned her. If that had just been it, Lily could have let it pass and talk to James later, but he had been like that for weeks and at last she had had enough and wouldn't let it go unnoticed by.

They had never had such a huge fight in their whole story together at Hogwarts. It had begun in the carriage down towards the train with sarcastic comments and mean glances, but ended with evil shouts across the platform where all the students were boarding the Express, but stopped stunned to watch them. None had been able to believe it: Hogwarts' dream couple number 1 through six months was shouting and swearing one at the other like they wanted to kill each other off.

Lily had slowly backed away from James, while tears grew bigger in her eyes, and at last, when the whistle of the train had sounded, she gave James a last look and shouted, "I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER!"

James had looked stunned a second, but then he opened his mouth to shout back, "THEN I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I HATE YOU TOO!"

But Lily wasn't happy, it had hurt to hear that from James' mouth, but again, she hadn't been better herself. Her tears started to run freely as she had stormed off and settled down in her own compartment in the other end of the train of where she knew James, Sirius, Remus and Peter would sit down. She sat there alone, just crying and rethinking the last half hour.

A couple of hours into the journey the door to the compartment slid open. Lily looked up and studied the young man who sat down across from her and who studied her back, both of them knowing what the other thought.

"Lily, I think-"

"Remus, forget it!" she interrupted. "I don't want to talk about it. What happened, has already happened, and I neither can nor will undo it."

"For Merlin's sake Lily!" Remus exclaimed and looked at her with his pained light brown eyes which were filled with concern. "You're sitting here, crying over a guy! A guy! You've almost never done that before! You're unhappy and so is James!"

"Leave it, Remus," she said coldly. "And if you intend to speak to me like that, you might as well leave."

Remus sighed and got up. "Fine. I know that when you're like that no one can talk sense into you. You have to realize it yourself."

"Just leave!" Lily said with a slight risen voice filled with impatience and slightly hysterics.

Remus gave her a last look and got up. Letting the door slam a bit harder than necessary, he left Lily alone, feeling even worse now; Remus had only wanted to help and had done nothing wrong, and yet she had been mean to him.

She gave a loud sob, drying her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time since she had sat down in there. Why was everything going on the wrong track for her? Melanie and Victoria killed by Voldemort, and so her parents. Petunia was mad beyond everything she had ever been before, but the worst thing was that she had lost who had held her up the last year. James had helped her through her parents' death in the beginning of their year, before they were dating. Only half a year later he had held her hand at Melanie and Victoria's funeral while patting Sirius' shoulder for his loss of Melanie. James had really been there not only for her, but also for everyone that year, even his cousin when her parents were killed.

He had been everything that he hadn't been the last six years and Lily had been sure it was true love what bonded them and that he really had changed. He had been a real gentleman, he told Lily that he loved her, gave her flowers and remembered the days of the anniversaries of their first kiss, making the first and only time they…

Lily gave another huge sob remembering how respectful and sweet he had been towards her. Waiting for her to be ready and keen to make their first time perfect. And it had been. It had been more than perfect. Everything had been more than perfect with James.

She remembered their first kiss, and showed a little smile. It had been after a Quidditch match in January and James had been at the hospital wing and Lily had been nervous and shaking, scared it was something serious, but hadn't been allowed in for more than five minutes when she and the rest of the visitors had to leave. Suddenly the portrait swung open and James entered. He looked up at everyone and then broke into a huge smile and waved at everyone, but let his gaze stop at Lily. Without Lily knowing what she was doing, she had gotten up and stormed towards him with small tears in her eyes and flung her arms around his neck. There was less than half a second eye contact between them before they just, without further hesitation, kissed. The whole tower had cheered out loud and Lily and James had just grinned at each other, knowing it was right, and then gone for a walk alone.

It was all over. Over. Lily could not believe it; she had had the best time of her life with James. Yes, they could disagree sometimes and had small fights every now and then, but they always ended up happily. This time seemed different. Lily wasn't sure if she could ever look at James again after what had happened. It seemed too absurd to ever talk to him again. Ever.

Lily felt that the journey to King's Cross lasted much longer than usual. She guessed it was because she was so keen to go home and be herself, not seeing James ever again. But when she thought of it, it filled her with a funny feeling she had never felt before. When she left the platform she would never meet James again, which she at this moment was glad about, but it filled her with a weird form of emptiness at the same time. It was indescribable.

The train slowly stopped and Lily grabbed her trunk and got out of the train as one of the last ones. She jumped out and started to walk towards the barrier, but stopped as soon as she saw that James was near it. He was greeted by his parents and a pretty blond girl with blue eyes and a figure like Lily had never seen before. The blond girl flung her arms around James and planted a kiss on each of his cheeks. Lily filled with a sudden desire to go over and hit the young woman or just hurt her in some way. At the same time it hurt more than everything she had ever tried in her stomach. Was it jealousy? She pushed the question away; she had never been jealous of some girl over a boy, and didn't intend to change that now. Especially not over a boy who thought she was just a little child and had just hours before shouted across a whole platform that he hated her. No, she would never be jealous at a girl who had her arms around a boy who acted like that. Never!

Suddenly James looked up from the girl and his gaze fell upon Lily who couldn't stop herself from looking back at him. His gaze didn't show pure hate as it had before that day, but sorrow, which Lily was sure he tried to hide, but failed catastrophically. After what seemed like ages, Lily dragged her gaze away, fresh tears forming, and started to move towards the barrier in a big bow around James, his parents and the young woman. She stared firmly down for some seconds, but couldn't help look up again. James was standing and letting his parents have a conversation, and looking extremely sad and at the edge of tears. But suddenly the blonde swung her arm around his shoulders, and he looked up and grinned to her. Lily felt hot tears in her eyes and quickly moved on, away from James, not able to look at him anymore. It was probably the last time she ever saw him.

He had said for years that she was the love of his life, but apparently only just as long as there wasn't a pretty blond girl with her arm around him.

Lily kicked hard to a metal bin on her way out of the station and let out a small growl of frustration. She locked herself into a little toilet and apparated home.


	2. Tea at Remus'

2 – Tea at Remus'

Lily slowly raised her hand and knocked silently at the door. Seconds afterwards, the door opened to reveal Remus, looking as tired as always. At first he seemed surprised to see her, but next he smiled slightly at her.

"Hey…" he said.

"Hi…"

Seconds passed. It was three weeks after Lily had left Platform 9 ¾ and had gone home. She had felt bad for the way she treated Remus, and had decided to apologize. It had been the worst three weeks she had ever lived through. On the first nights she didn't sleep at all and she cried all the time. She knew she had to talk to Remus just to try to feel a bit better, and now she stood there, speechless.

"Look," she said, not exactly knowing what to say and how to express her feelings. "I'm really sorry about what happened on the train. I just wasn't in the mood to talk there."

Remus nodded "It's okay. I understand."

"Thank you," Lily said in a small voice.

More silent seconds passed.

"So. Err…" Remus said and cleared his throat. "Want to come inside and have some tea or something?"

Lily nodded. "I could use that."

Remus smiled and let her inside. She dropped her cloak on a chair and sat down on the couch in the living room. Remus walked into the kitchen and started to move around, while a lot of noise came from the clicking of several things inside.

He was back a couple of minutes later. Lily took the teapot without a word and poured some tea into her cup. Remus took the teapot after her and poured some in his cup too. He sat the pot down and looked at her with concerned eyes.

"Lily, how are you feeling?"

Lily had her cup halfway up to her mouth but stopped. She slowly lowered the cup and looked back at Remus. He was looking at her with clear concern, pity and sympathy in his gaze. If she didn't pull herself together, it was possible she'd start to cry again.

"I'm fine," she said, lying and forcing a smile to her lips.

Remus smiled slightly. "'Fine'; the secret password for 'not fine'," he said. "But I won't go further into it."

"Thanks," Lily said and she truly meant it. "I really don't feel like talking about it."

Remus nodded and took a sip of his tea, Lily had put hers back on the table without drinking it. She noticed how searching Remus' gaze was. He clearly was looking for any sign of weakness from her, like waiting for her to break down, telling him how she really felt. But she wouldn't let him win. At last, Remus gave her a slight smile.

"James is devastated you know," he said while looking down. "Or at least he was last time I saw him."

Lily frowned. "When was that?"

She didn't know why she asked. Two weeks ago she wouldn't have cared about James and would have started to cry if someone mentioned him, but she had always found it easy to talk to Remus about hard subjects she couldn't talk to others about. She trusted him and was comfortable around him.

"Two weeks ago," Remus answered. "Sirius said he didn't go outside the house until sometime last week, only to get some chips at the local store. But it's improving."

Lily sighed deeply. "I know you think I should go and talk things out, but I'm not ready. You didn't see the gaze he sent me with his eyes."

"No I didn't. And that's why I'm not going to lecture you," he said. "You're able to take your own decisions, even though how stupid I think they are. I can't imagine how it is to you, but I can try."

"It means a lot to me that you at least try to understand me," Lily replied.

Remus smiled. "Well, I try my hardest. I just wish there was someth-"

The door in the hall to the outside burst open and someone entered the house, trudging towards the living room and then stuck his head inside.

"Hey Moony," grinned the figure of Sirius Black. "Prongs and I figured we could use a couple of butterbeers before the full-"

He stopped talking at the sight of Lily and an unpleasant silence filled the living room as Sirius looked at Lily open-mouthed and Lily looked back at Sirius, shocked. Several silent seconds passed and Lily felt her stomach hurt suddenly as the door slammed open once more.

"Padfoot, I parked your motorbike behind the house," called the voice of James Potter.

Lily's worst fear had been confirmed; along with Sirius came James. He stepped up behind Sirius, smiling, but looking tired at the same time. It clearly had been a couple of rough weeks for him too.

"Moony! How are you? Peter's on his way. Ready for-" He too stopped talking at the sight of Lily in the couch.

Lily had looked from Sirius to James and the two of them were now staring at each other. She felt how her breath slowly got stuck in her throat as none of them looked away. She felt everything from before the last three weeks come back to her with a big wave of pain. She remembered the fight at Hogsmeade station; she remembered the gaze James had sent her before they stormed apart there and she remembered the blond girl at King's Cross, and she had to fight not to let the tears fall from her eyes into her cheeks.

After what seemed like several years, Sirius cleared up his throat. "Well, this is awkward," he said.

"I should go," Lily said and got up. "Thanks for the tea, Remus."

"Lily, wait!" Remus said and got up.

She sent him a faint smile and turned, letting her untouched tea stand on the table. "Really," she said tearfully.

She grabbed her cloak from the chair, feeling hot tears in her eyes, and pushed her way past Sirius and then she just needed to go past James. She took a deep silent breath, looking down.

"Lily…" James whispered as she walked past him. "I…"

She didn't turn, but dried the hot tear of her cheek, hoping James had not noticed. She pulled her cloak over her shoulders and opened the door to the outside and stormed out, finally letting her tears fall more freely from her eyes.

She ran down the sidewalk and only stopped several streets away, where she collapsed on a bench with her face in her hands. She began to sob uncontrollably. She had never felt worse in her whole life; she had lost James. That was it, but it was enough to make her feel as if she was being torn apart on the inside.

And the blond girl on the platform! James had seemed so happy with her. Lily sobbed even harder. Losing James was enough to make her want to die, but to a blond girl with a body and face like a supermodel! She was that kind of girl Lily had always thought James should be with. It was in the genes. Good-looking, popular and rolling in money, a perfect match!

But the worst was his eyes. They bore themselves into hers even though it was several minutes ago they had for real. Lily gave a huge sob as she remembered his eyes, and the hate they had shown towards her at the station. She couldn't bear it.

By the end of August Lily had not yet dared to visit Remus again. She was afraid of running into James again and had chosen to just stay away. Yet she could not prevent people from visiting her. Only a week ago Sirius had been there to say hello. It had only been for half an hour, but Lily felt her mood lifted after it. Remus had also been by one day. He stayed a little longer and apologized for the sudden interruption James and Sirius had caused that day at his house. But Lily had not yet seen her best friend: Alice Steins. She had written a couple of owls to her and told her about the break-up with James, but it wasn't the same as talking to her face to face. Alice had promised to come and visit Lily one day. She was only waiting for that day to come when it did.

Someone knocked softly at the door and Lily looked up from the newspaper she was reading. She walked out in the hall and opened the door.

"Lily!" Alice squealed and flung her arms around Lily's neck.

"Hi Alice!" Lily greeted. "Finally I see you after such a long time!"

"How are you?"

"Better," Lily said while nodding.

"What happened?" Alice asked with a sad face. "Frank told me what James said, but I wanted to hear it straight from you."

Lily nodded and began to tell her everything. Of course Alice had heard the rest of the story Lily had not told her. Frank and she had been a year above Lily at Hogwarts, and Frank had been one of James' good friends from childhood and on the Quidditch team as well, and they talked a lot, just like Lily and Alice did.

"But you were like the most perfect couple…" Alice said slowly as Lily had finished.

"Alice!" Lily said and raised a hand. "Please. Don't start on that."

She had gotten tears in her eyes as she told the story. Alice gave Lily another hug.

"You'll be fine," she whispered into her ear.

"Yeah," Lily said and nodded as they broke the hug. "But please tell me what's up. You seam so… happy!"

"Oh," said Alice casually. "It's just a little thing called a wedding."

"You-?"

"Yes!" Alice squealed excited.

"Oh, that's fantastic! I knew it had to happen soon!" Lily said and Alice just grinned at her. "So when is it?"

"Soon," Alice said and handed Lily an envelope with the invitation. "October 16th."

"That's soon, but wonderful!"

"We just really wanted it to be before winter."

"It is fine but-" Lily said but stopped; she had just spotted the next envelope in Alice's hand. "He's coming too?"

Alice nodded slowly. Lily couldn't drag her eyes away from the name 'James Potter', on the envelope. It would be like a living hell to see him again. And he'd probably bring that blond girl as a date…

"Lily, promise me to be there. Even though James is coming too!" Alice almost begged.

"Of course Alice!" Lily said. "I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything in the world."

And she meant it. James was not a big enough reason to ruin her best friend's wedding. She smiled widely.

"Good…" Alice said. "Because I was actually going to… I was going to ask you to be my maid of honor!"

"What?" Lily asked stunned. "Really?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah…"

Lily was about to give Alice a huge hug but stopped. "Please tell me James is not going to be Frank's best man!"

"No, no! That'll be Frank's brother, George."

Lily nodded. "It'll be great."

"Yeah it will. I-" Alice looked at her watch. "Oh, sorry Lily. I've got to go. Frank and I want to deliver the rest of them together." She raised the envelopes slightly.

"It's okay."

"And one last thing: what are you doing in two days?"

Lily shrugged. "Nothing."

"Come buy my dress with me. You as my maid of honor should come," Alice grinned.

"Of course," Lily hurried to say.

"Great! Bye for now. See you later!"

Lily and Alice hugged one last time before Alice disapparated and left Lily with a happier feeling than the one she had had for weeks. Even the fact that James would be at the wedding couldn't ruin it all.


	3. The Perfect Dress

3 – The perfect dress

Lily stopped the car outside of Alice and Frank's house (she had just passed her driver's license test the day before), and beeped. Alice stuck her head out of a window on the first floor.

"I'll be right down!" she called.

Lily grinned at her and waited. Half a minute later, Alice closed the door and almost jumped outside and sat in the car.

"Okay, Lils, tell me once more why we aren't just apparating," she demanded.

"Because!" Lily laughed. "It's fun to drive. And it's something I'm actually good at!"

Alice raised an eyebrow. "I guess we're going to Diagon Alley?"

"Of course! Where else?"

Alice shrugged. "Just asking."

Two hours later Lily and Alice stepped into 'Madam Geoffrey's Witches and Wizards' Wear for All Occasions' in Diagon Alley.

Lily looked around. "Again, what colour did my dress have to be?" she asked while following Alice to the left where there were a lot of white dresses.

"Err. Something a bit darker than royal blue, if you get what I mean?"

Lily nodded slowly. "Yeah. I think I do."

Suddenly a middle-aged woman appeared next to Lily. "Can I help you with anything, dears?" she asked; Lily assumed it was Madam Geoffrey.

"I'm looking for a wedding dress," Alice said.

The woman's face lit up in a smile. "Yes, this way."

Alice and Lily followed her into a room where Alice was placed on top of a stool.

"White I presume?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah. And I was thinking it could have a blue band or something like that so it'd match my bridesmaid's."

Madam Geoffrey nodded. "I have a basic idea," she said and walked away.

Alice sent Lily an excited glance. Madam Geoffrey was back seconds later with a simple white dress made of silk. Alice raised her eyebrows. Lily did too. They both looked very sceptical.

"Please put it on," Madam Geoffrey asked Alice.

Alice did as she was told and was not impressed. "It's just a white piece of silk," she noticed.

"Aha!" Madam Geoffrey said. "But now the fun begins. Tell me what you had in mind."

"Err… something strapless… it's got to be special, but simple. And my maid of honour is going to be dressed in dark blue."

Madam Geoffrey nodded and turned to the dress with her wand in her hand. She swished it a couple of times and suddenly the dress started to change. The straps disappeared and were replaced by dark blue bands that ended the dress around Alice, one at the top and another one at the bottom.

Lily's eyes were the size of teacups, but it didn't stop there. The dress grew wider at the bottom and slowly little diamonds popped up in the dress from the top and fewer and fewer all the way down and ended at the waist. They all had a gleam of blue in them.

Alice's jaw dropped as she watched it all. She turned around a bit to look at herself from behind.

"I…" she said. "I look beautiful!"

Lily grinned. "So much!"

Madam Geoffrey smiled at them. "Any more details?" she asked.

Alice shook her head. "No. It's fine. It's _the_ dress! I'll take it!"

"That was one of the quickest purchases you've ever made!" Lily laughed.

"Yes, but it's it!" she said and turned to Lily. "Now we just have to find your dress."

Lily nodded. "Yeah…"

Madam Geoffrey helped Alice out of her dress and went to pack it. Meanwhile Lily and Alice moved to the outer part of the shop. Lily parted from Alice and they both started looking around. She was almost at the counter when she stopped.

She had spotted a blue dress of thick shining silk on a life-size model in the middle of the whole section. It was exactly the colour Alice had talked about. It was a long dress that went around the wearer's neck and folded around the chest and stomach, and around the legs the silk was as if it was floating.

Lily took a quick walk around it and noticed the naked back with the beautiful cut. She walked back to find Alice.

"I think I've found it," she said.

Alice smiled and followed her. Lily stopped in front of the dress.

"So?" she asked. "Do you like it?"

Alice smiled. She took a walk around the model too and returned to Lily, smiling even wider.

"It's just you!"

Lily looked at the size. It was too small. She swore soundlessly before she turned to Madam Geoffrey who was packing Alice's dress.

"Yes?" she asked and looked up.

"Err… You don't happen to have that blue dress over there in a bigger size?" she asked, slowly turning a bit red and pointing at the life-size model.

Madam Geoffrey smiled. "Of course, dear. I'll just find it for you."

She was gone for half a minute before she returned with the dress over her arm.

"Here you go," she said and handed Lily the dress.

"Thanks," Lily smiled and turned.

She returned to the same room where Alice had tried on her dress and quickly put it on.

"Alice?" she called.

Alice was there a second later. "OH!" she squealed "It's so beautiful on you. You can't wear it."

"What?" Lily asked and looked at her.

"You'll look prettier than me!" Alice grinned.

Lily blushed, but Alice had a point. She was beautiful and the dress fitted her perfectly, not showing the places where she had a bit too much. But she could never be prettier than the bride.

"Take it," Alice grinned. "You'll blow all the guys' legs away under it."

Lily laughed. "We'll see about that."

She pulled the dress off and got dressed in her own clothes. She followed Alice out of the room, but stopped as soon as she saw someone on the outside of the shop. She grabbed Alice's arm and pulled her, after her own self, behind a row of dresses. A second later a tall man entered the shop. His hazel eyes shined behind a pair of round glasses under a mane of disheveled black hair; James Potter had just entered the shop.

Lily bent a bit so she could barely see him from behind the dresses. He walked straight over to the counter where Madam Geoffrey had just finished packing Alice's dress.

"Hi," he said, not throwing a single glance at the package. "I'm here to pick up a tux and a dress. The name is James Potter."

Madam Geoffrey smiled and walked over to a shelf where she pulled out a package with a small note on. Meanwhile James had turned and taken a look around in the shop. Lily bent even more, afraid he might see her but still looking at him. His eyes still searched the shop, but stopped at the life-size model with a dark blue dress on. The dress Lily had just decided to buy.

He frowned and took a step closer to it.

He was now so close to Lily and Alice that Lily could recognise the well-known smell of him. It was fresh and calming at the same time without suppressing his normal smell completely.

Lily felt her eyes burning, but kept the tears inside of her. There was nothing she wanted more than to throw herself at him, with her arms around his neck, hoping the last month could be erased from her life. But she couldn't and she'd never feel his hand in hers again; never feel his lips on hers again; never hear him say he loved her again. It was over. She repeated those words to herself in her mind over and over again. She couldn't go and confront him. She just couldn't. But she missed him! No, she didn't miss him... and she didn't need him either. She had to remember the last day of school!

While Lily had a mental battle with her emotions, James kept staring at the dress.

"Maybe you'd like to change the dresses?" Madam Geoffrey asked and James snapped out of his thoughts.

"No," he said, still with a distant mood, his hand slowly stroking it, a longing expression haunting his normally so beautiful eyes. "It's just…I know someone who'd look breathtaking in it."

"A certain girl?" Madam Geoffrey asked, smiling.

"Former," James said and gave her a sad smile, also his eyes showed nothing but pain. "I can see her in it. She'd look gorgeous. Sweeping every guy's legs away under it."

This was enough for Lily. A lonely tear fell from her eye and down her cheek. She started to shake to control her sobs from coming out loud and she felt Alice's arms around her, but nothing seemed to help. She was torn on the inside and nothing could help her at the moment. The need to go and hug James was now more dominating than ever, but she kept telling herself she couldn't do that. He had hurt her and they were no longer a couple and would never be one again.

Madam Geoffrey smiled sadly at James. He gave the dress a last look before he turned to pay for his tux and the other dress.

When he walked out Lily was sure his eyes glistened a little.

"Tears," she whispered.

Alice stroked Lily's hair away from her face. "Don't think about it, sweetie. You're much better without him."

Lily nodded, not sure if she even agreed with Alice. "But it still hurts," she whispered.

"I know," Alice said and hugged her tightly. "I know."

After five minutes Lily got up and dried her eyes. "Well," she said. "I think we should head home now."

Alice looked at her with concern but nodded. "Yeah. Let's go pay for the dresses."


	4. Going Out

Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I know. I'm not JKR. You don't need to tell me that. I'm not _that _stupid. :P

4 – Going out

"_You ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time. Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit  
and you ain't no friend of mine!_"

"Hey Lily!"

Lily screamed and jumped up from her warm chair in the sun. "Alice!" she said shrilly, and grabbed a t-shirt from her chair, pulling it over her head. "Why do you have to scare me like that?!"

Alice grabbed her from her shoulders and gave her a pull. "Don't know. Who's the weirdo singing?"

Lily raised a finger menacingly. "Don't you dare insult Elvis like that! He's the Muggle King of Rock n' Roll!" She turned off the radio.

"He is?" Alice asked, frowning. "Uh, let's have some more girl time and go to one of his concerts sometime!"

"Yeah, Alice, he's dead," Lily said and sent Alice a short sarcastic smile.

"Oh," Alice uttered. "Well you should tell me a bit more about the Muggle world then!"

Lily showed the white of her eyes. "Anyway… What are you doing here?"

It was mid September, but as it had been very warm, Lily had found time to wear her bikini and get some color on her skin outside. Alice had simply surprised her as she was laying, nearly asleep and in her own thoughts.

Alice shrugged. "Well, I wanted to ask you out to dinner with Frank and George. Tonight."

Lily looked at Alice for a few seconds. "Just them, right?"

"Yeah," Alice said and nodded. "Only those. No reason to be afraid."

"Okay, fine," Lily mumbled. "It's just-"

"Yeah, I know," Alice interrupted and smiled.

"So is it formal or just…?"

"A simple dinner. Nothing fancy."

"It's a date! So how's it going with the wedding? A month to the big day?"

Alice sat down on a chair next to Lily's. "It's okay. I'm not nervous yet, but it'll all come when there are only two weeks left, I think."

Lily smiled. "You'll do fine. You're like the perfect person to be calm."

"Yeah," Alice said and sighed. "I know I shouldn't worry, but I feel like there's something I've forgotten."

"I think that's normal," Lily said. "It's just because you know how important it all is. I'm sure you won't forget a thing. Anything to drink?"

"No thanks," Alice said and shook her head. "I just can't get the thought out of my head…"

"The chairs?" Lily asked and Alice shook her head again. "Table plan? You do remember that I have the dress? Flowers? Napkins?"

Alice shook her head again and again. "No. Nothing from all that."

"Then I'm not sure I can help you… And to be honest… I don't think you've forgotten anything, Alice, you're the most organized human being I know of. There's a bigger chance for the Chudley Cannons to win the Quidditch league than of you forgetting something. You should relax a bit more."

"What about you?" Alice shot back. "You haven't been much out since you…" Alice stopped, seeming to think about what to say. "Since you returned from school," she ended firmly.

Lily suppressed a smile for Alice's attempt to avoid the 'James Potter'-topic. She noticed Alice looked at her to see if she had said something that could make her sad, but Lily ignored it.

"Then how about we push our date a few hours into the night and go out to party?" Lily snapped.

Alice's eyes started gleaming at once. "I'm so in! I haven't been out since… I really don't know! But we should. I'll talk to Frank and George about it."

Frank and George agreed to go out so they arranged that Lily would pick them up at nine to go out for a late dinner and then dancing. Lily enjoyed herself all the way through the dinner, which they finished at eleven. From there, they continued to a local small discotheque. A smile spread across Lily's lips as she heard the bass pump. It had been a year since the last time she went out, and even longer since she had been out with Alice.

"You know something?" Lily laughed as she returned from the bar with four drinks. "It's really nice to be outside again. And even though we haven't been here for more than five minutes, I'm having the greatest time I've had for months!"

Alice smiled. "I'm glad you found life again."

Lily laughed. "'Found life? Aren't you being a little overdramatic?"

"You've really been down, Lily," Alice said with a shrug.

"Let just… let's have a good time," Lily said and smiled.

"I agree!" George grinned as he raised his glass. "Cheers!"

They all laughed and bumped the glasses together before they all sipped from them. Lily looked up towards the bar, spotting a tall guy with black messy hair. Extremely messy hair. The next second she landed under the table, with her drink in her hand. The others stopped talking and Alice stuck her head beneath the table.

"Err, Lily?"

Lily blushed and stuck her head up over the table again, looking at the black haired guy at the bar. As he turned she could easily see his face and he wasn't the one she had been afraid to see. They all looked to where Lily had been staring.

"Honestly," Alice sighed.

"Lily it's just a black haired bloke," George said.

Lily blushed. "Well… I just thought…" She trailed off and shook her head. "Doesn't matter."

"This is one of the thousands of discotheques in England and the chance of James being here is about one to one billion," Alice said. "Try to be a little more paranoid."

"Sorry," Lily mumbled.

"It's okay."

Silence fell over them. At last Frank got up.

"I guess a dance would be in its right place?" he smirked and grabbed Alice's hand.

Alice giggled and followed him out to the dance floor.

George got up too "I'll be back," he said and headed for the toilet, leaving Lily alone.

Lily sighed deeply and studied the black-haired guy a little more. After taking a closer look at him she could easily see that there wasn't the slightest chance that he could have been James. James' hair was longer, even messier and somehow darker. This guy also looked more muscular than James and had grey eyes. Lily first became aware that she was staring at him when she spotted the guy next to him looking at her. He was not very tall but not small either, had brown hair and eyes that reminded her of James'. She quickly looked down and blushed, but it was too late. The guy had seen her and now was heading toward her table.

He sat down at Alice's chair next to Lily. Lily looked up, meeting his eyes.

"Hey," he said and stretched out his hand. "I'm Roland Harrison."

Lily took his hand politely. "Lily Evans."

She noticed he smelled of alcohol and sweat. She wrinkled her nose.

"Nice to meet you," he said.

Lily forced a smile upon her lips. She noticed he hadn't yet let go of her hand and could now feel his fingers slide over the back of her hand.

"So where do you come from?"

"Northern England," Lily mumbled and pushed herself a bit away as she thought he was way to close by now.

"What would you-?"

"Excuse me!"

Lily looked past Roland to a tall blond guy with blue eyes. Roland turned too.

"Yeah, what?" he snarled.

"I think the girl would like you to stay away from her," the tall blond said.

"And why do you think that?"

"Seeing as she's my girlfriend I think I know that."

Roland looked at the blond for a few more seconds before he got up and left the table. Lily's heart skipped a beat.

"Thanks!" she breathed as soon as he was gone.

The blonde guy sat down. "You're welcome. You looked like one who could use some help."

"Right on that," she mumbled and he laughed. "I'm Lily Evans."

He grabbed her hand. "I'm Archibald McCord, but you can call me Arch. Nice to save you."

Lily laughed. "Nice to be saved by you."

"You're not here alone I guess?"

"No, no," Lily hurried to say. "My two friends are out there dancing and the third is on the bathroom. You?"

"My two friends are over there." He nodded towards two guys in a corner

"Okay."

"Look. Maybe I could buy you a drink."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but she caught a glimpse of the black haired guy in the bar. She sighed, closing her mouth.

"No, but thanks," she mumbled.

"Oh," Arch uttered, and looked slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, "but I've just gotten out of a serious relationship, and I don't think I'm ready to start meeting guys and all that stuff already."

He nodded. "I understand. Can't blame a guy for trying, can you?"

Lily smiled, shaking her head. "But thanks for the help with the idiot. I'll let you know if I need more."

Arch nodded and got up. "See you around Lily."

Lily nodded her goodbye and took a sip of her glass in the same second as Alice and Frank joined the table again.

"Who was that hottie?" Alice grinned.

"Oi!" Frank exclaimed.

"I still love you honey, you're very handsome, but that guy was really good looking."

Frank seemed satisfied with the answer.

"Just someone," Lily mumbled.

"Why did he leave?" Alice asked. "You don't tell a guy like him to leave."

Lily shrugged. "I'm not ready. I was just about to say yes to a drink but then I thought of all that has been going on and about to go on, and I'm not sure it's the right time."

"But-"

"I agree with Lily," Frank interrupted Alice. "And you should respect her wish as well as I respect you looking at other blokes."

Alice sighed. "Okay, fine."


	5. Wedding Dances

Disclaimer: I think by this time we've all come to the conclusion that I'm not JKR. I dream I am, but I'm not. Sadly.

5 – Wedding Dances

Lily looked at her reflection in the mirror again. She turned around a bit, trying to find something about the dress that wasn't perfect, but she couldn't find one spot she could criticise. It definitely was perfect.

A young woman stuck her head inside the room. She had a smile plastered in her beautiful face and her brown eyes twinkled.

"You look fine, Lily," Amelia Bones said.

"But, do I look good enough?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Amelia sighed, smiling. "And you'll be the prettiest girl except from Alice. Now come on! The ceremony is about to begin!"

"Fine."

She grabbed a little bouquet of flowers and followed Amelia. She met Alice downstairs. She looked stunning and Lily was sure she'd never seen Alice smile more in her whole life, even though she also looked nervous.

"Don't be nervous," Lily said. "You're just walking down the aisle and marrying the man of your dreams!"

Alice looked even more nervous and her eyes widened. "You're not making it easier!" she hissed.

Lily smirked. "You'll do fine."

A few minutes later the music slowly began to play, she walked outdoors on George's arm. She tried to look straight forward; all the people that were present made her nervous, especially when they looked at her. She spotted a few familiar faces among them all.

The walk to the altar seemed to last forever, and just as she was there a brown pair of eyes caught her attention. James was watching her with a slightly open mouth and a sorrowful look. The tall blond girl stood next to him in a light green dress. His tie matched her dress.

Lily just held her head higher and walked on, not sending James a second glance, but she could feel his gaze on her back and she could almost hear his voice, 'She'd look gorgeous. Sweeping every guy's legs away under it.'

At the altar she stopped and turned just as Alice started to walk down the aisle. She was beaming and looked happier than ever.

When the ceremony ended everyone was led into the garden where the dinner was to take place. Lily had just found her place at the table when a person walked over next to her, smiling.

Lily frowned at the sight; it was that blond girl James had stood with and Lily was sure she'd seen enough of her for the rest of her life. She was just about to turn around and walk away when the woman offered her a hand.

"Hi!" she said.

"Hello," Lily said hesitating and shook the woman's hand.

"I'm _Eleanor Potter."_

_Lily's breath got stuck in her throat. She couldn't be married to James? Could she? _

_"Potter?" Lily replied in a low voice. "So you're James'-"_

_"Cousin," Eleanor smiled. "I'm James' cousin. You know James?"_

_Lily's heart skipped a beat. Eleanor had never been James' girlfriend as Lily had thought.__ She'd been the cousin whose parents had died in the winter… At that moment she could have jumped up and down or ran a mile, but she controlled herself in the last second. _

_Lily nodded. "Yeah," she said;__ it was hard to hide her relief._

_"What's your name anyway?" Eleanor asked, smiling._

_"Err…" Lily hesitated; she wasn't sure why but she felt so insecure. "Lily… Lily Evans."_

_Eleanor stopped smiling. Instead she looked frowning at Lily with something a lot like concern in her eyes. Lily hated it. It was the same look she got from everyone when they talked about James in front of her, or when she told them about their break-up._

_"You… you're James' ex?" Eleanor asked slowly._

Lily looked away and nodded. "Yes…"

"James has told me so much about you," she said softly. "I've never seen him so much… In love."

Lily's head snatched up. She remembered little bits of beautiful moments she had shared with James, but suddenly, she realized why they weren't together, and the painful images of their fight came to her mind. She restrained a tear from falling to her cheek. "It's over," she said slowly but firmly. "And if you don't mind… I'm really not ready to talk about it."

_Eleanor nodded. "Of course. I expected nothing less. After everything you've been through… You should have seen him at the ceremony though… he was lost."_

_"Please!" Lily insisted._

_Eleanor looked down. "Sorry…"_

_Lily nodded. "It's okay. I'm just not ready, that's all."_

_She could feel her eyes burning but not a single tear escaped them. Eleanor looked sorry about what she had just said and moved uncomfortably._

_"Don't think about it," Lily said. "__You shouldn't worry."_

_"I'm sorry. But after having seen him the whole summer… It hasn't been pretty," Eleanor stopped suddenly, looking slightly embarrassed. "You know what? I think I should go now, before I make it all worse than it is."_

_Lily smiled slightly as Eleanor walked away. She seemed nice and Lily liked her even though it hadn't been a nice conversation. She seemed like a person who just didn't think twice before speaking, yet she did it in a way that wasn't as bad as if Lily had talked to anyone else. _

_Lily stood alone for only five seconds when another person walked up to her side. This time it was Remus._

_Lily smiled. "Hi." _

_"Hey," he said silently and kissed her cheek._

_"Having a nice time?" she asked._

_He shrugged. "It's fine… I like any time that isn't full moon."_

_Lily laughed silently. "So where're the other Marauders?"_

_"Err…" Remus looked around. "Sirius is over there… Flirting with Alice's great cousin or something. And Peter couldn't be here. James is… he's over there with his cousin."_

_Lily watched. First Sirius was flirting with a pretty brunette, and then she watched as James talked to Eleanor. He wasn't smiling._

_After the dinner, music started to play. Lily wished it would stop. She was safe in her seat. Next to Amelia and Alice's mother, and a long way from James, it couldn't be better. But soon people started to leave their places. She groaned and closed her eyes leaning backwards._

_Next she felt someone close to her._

_"Dance?" a voice __whispered into her ear._

_She opened her eyes. "I'm not sure, Remus. I feel safe here."_

_"Come on," he said, smiling slightly. "You need to have fun. And what better way is there to do it than with an old friend?"_

_He got up and offered her his hand. She hesitated a bit before taking it and letting him lead her out into the dance floor. She placed her hand on his shoulder and they started to dance._

_"Has anyone told you that you look beautiful this evening?" he asked._

_She smiled. "Not someone who looks so stunning himself."_

_Remus grinned sheepishly. "No need to flatter."_

_"I didn't," Lily said honestly. "I'm pretty sure you could win every girl in this room if you wanted to."_

_"Not every girl," he said and Lily raised her eyebrows. "Alice is married now."_

_She laughed. "Of course. But every girl besides her."_

_The dance ended and they both returned to their seats. Only a song later, Remus was gone and she was alone. She took a sip of her wine just as someone else stopped behind her chair. She looked up at the smiling face of Sirius._

_"Hey," he grinned. "May I ask for a dance with the prettiest lady of this party?"_

_Lily grinned of his mock seriousness and got up. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Like with Remus, she felt safe around Sirius. They were close friends and had been ever since he had helped her out of a very unlucky situation two years ago. He had taken all the blame of the big disaster she had made, which led to two detentions and twenty lost points for Gryffindor._

_"The 'prettiest lady'?" she asked, eyebrows raised and a smile playing on her lips._

_"Yeah," he said and shrugged. "You are."_

_"What about your little lady form before?"_

_"She's not you," he grinned and winked. "And I'll make sure she doesn't feel ignored later."_

_"And instead you're wasting your time on a silly girl."_

_"Well. That silly girl just happens to be one of my best friends. I never leave friends in the lurch."_

_Lily smiled. "Wow. Sirius Black does have soft sides too."_

_"Of course he does," he said and swung Lily around. "He's friends with Lily Evans. She's taught him everything about being polite."_

_"And it seams like she's done a great job," Lily grinned._

_"Yeah, like talking about herself in third person," Sirius laughed._

_"Shut up!" Lily said but couldn't keep a straight face._

_Sirius grinned shortly before he turned more serious. Lily knew what was coming at once and that was what she had feared._

_"I think you should go talk to James," Sirius said, looking more solemn than ever._

_"I don't think so," Lily said and looked down._

_"Lily, look at him!" he said. "He's standing in the corner, looking miserable. He needs to talk to you. Even if you shout at him. He just needs to know you haven't forgotten him. He needs to know the Lily Evans he fell in love with years ago is still in there."_

_Lily forced her head up and looked at James. He was once again standing with Eleanor, but not exactly looking happy._

_"I've not forgotten him!" Lily said. "How can I just forget a person?"_

_Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You know what I mean. I think right now he'd give everything to just know there's a bit of the Lily he fell in love with inside of you. To know Lily Evans has not disappeared. He needs to see you smile or just talk. To know you're not dead and gone."_

_"I am not dead."_

_"You get what I mean!" Sirius said sternly__. _

_Lily looked down. She had no idea, but Sirius had some sort of gift of making her feel ashamed, of making her rethink her decisions._

_"Sirius, you don't understand," Lily said tearfully. "I can't. I think I might break down right in front of him if I did. I can't face him. I still haven't moved away enough from it all."_

_Sirius nodded. "I unders__-… no, actually I don't understand!" He shook his head. "You're perfect for each other, made for each other. And I think a stupid fight is way too small of a thing to leave each other."_

_"Maybe I don't," she said softly. "We have talked about this, Sirius. I can't face him. Everything will come back to the way it was and he'll see how weak I am. He'll see I haven't moved on."_

_"So?! If you haven't moved on, maybe you can move back? Make things the way they were. He hasn't moved on either."_

_"I don't think I can," Lily whispered; her voice was almost gone._

_"I think you can," Sirius said._

_Lily hadn't noticed until now that Sirius slowly had danced her towards the exit of the garden where James was now dancing with Eleanor, and suddenly became very aware of how close to him they were. She looked up at him with big eyes._

_"Oh, no, you won't," she said._

_He nodded and sent her an apologetic glance before he pushed Lily slightly away in the same second as Eleanor pushed herself away from James, and the two young women switched places._

_Lily's breath got stuck in her throat and she was sure all colour was drained form her face. Her worst nightmare had become real. She stood in the arms of James._


	6. In the Arms of the Man

_Disclaimer:__ Really, if I did own anything, would I then be doing this? … I'm not JKR._

6 – In the Arms of the Man

For a short second, Lily cursed Sirius and Eleanor with all the curses and swearwords she could come up with, but she forgot all about it as she looked up at James and met his soft gaze, that for a short moment also had looked at Sirius and Eleanor.

Lily could feel how it hurt inside of her. Yes, she had longed to be in his arms again, but it was so different from what she had expected. Right now she didn't feel like crying, she didn't even know if she could do it ever again. His eyes comforted her as he placed his arms around her.

"Lily," he whispered.

"James…" Lily said breathlessly.

Slowly they started to dance, not talking, but just looking at each other. Lily was lost in his eyes and was sure she had never enjoyed them so much. She never wanted to let go of him again.

James was the first to break the silence, "You look breathtaking," he said silently.

"Thanks."

Lily smiled to herself; he had noticed the dress. They slowly moved a bit further into the dance floor and danced a bit more. Lily was unbelievably aware of how comforting his hand on her waist felt and how good his other hand fitted into hers. They were like build to be together.

"I've missed you," he said.

"I've missed you too," she spoke softly. "So much."

It was the first time she'd said something that was true about them since they had broken up. And it felt good.

"You know I love you, right?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said and nodded. "You've said so before."

She couldn't drag her eyes away from his, and she didn't want to either. She just wanted to dance like this forever.

"Can we put it all behind us?" he asked out of nowhere. "Leave it all and never talk about it again?"

Lily was taken by surprise and thought about it for a couple of seconds. She wanted so deadly to say yes, but something inside of her made her shake her head and say no.

"Why?" he asked, looking at her.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I really don't know."

He swung her around himself and then pushed her closer to him with his hands on her back. Lily could now feel his body against hers, it made her feel safe. At the same time he slowly led her away from the dance floor again.

"What happened that evening?" he asked in a whisper so she could feel his regret in his voice.

Lily shook her heard. "I don't know," she whispered back.

"Don't know or don't remember?"

Lily bit her lip for a couple of seconds. "Don't remember," she said so silently that she could barely hear her own voice.

"Me neither," he said.

Lily slowly let her hands slide up around his neck as the music slightly slowed down.

"And I don't want to remember," she said.

"Maybe it wasn't that important after all."

"But important enough to separate us."

He nodded. "Every day and every night I wish I could take it back."

"Take what back?" she asked, frowning; they both had said so much.

"The last thing. On the station," he said. "I don't hate you, didn't then and never have."

She could feel tears in her eyes as he spoke those words and had to pull herself together before she'd break down. The truth was that she had never wanted to kiss him more than in that second.

"I… I didn't mean it either," she said. "If there was one thing I'd change, it was what I said. I've never regretted anything more."

"I love you," he whispered.

Lily closed her eyes, trying to block the tears in her eyes. "I love you t-"

She stopped as James suddenly had pressed his lips against hers. She didn't even think of ending the sentence. She just thought she didn't want the kiss to end. When he pulled slightly away again, she dragged him back to her with her hands.

"Don't let me go," she whispered into his mouth.

"I won't ever as long as I live," he whispered back and kissed her again.

Lily could feel his hands push her up against him and feel his heart beat through his shirt and her dress. Nothing else in the whole world had ever had a more calming effect on her and she could have stood like that forever.

But something in the back of her mind interrupted her. 'No!' it screamed. 'NO! This is not what you've waited several months for! Don't ruin it now! He broke your heart! Remember his eyes!'

Lily pulled away.

"I can't," she whispered, still being close to James, his forehead pressing against hers.

"Yes," he whispered. "Don't let go."

"No," she said.

She pulled her arms back and removed his from her back. He looked at her with a pained expression and Lily could almost feel his heart break in her hands.

"We can't," she said more to convince herself than him.

"Yes, we can," he said and took a step closer. "Look."

Lily pushed his arms away, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "No," she said. "I can't."

Now it wasn't only his heart she could feel break; it was her own as well and it hurt. It was worse than at the station in Hogsmeade, it was worse than seeing him at Remus' or in a dress shop. It was worse this time because deeply inside of her she didn't want to reject him, and she didn't want to break his heart and her own as a matter of fact. It was like ambivalent feelings were rushing inside of her. She wanted to stay close to James. Kiss him, feel his arms around her. But she couldn't and she didn't know why. Her head was a big mess.

"Lily," he said softly.

"No…" she whispered.

He grabbed her hands; she couldn't pull them back. She had two voices inside her head; one was telling her to pull her hands back, the other was begging her to fling her arms around his neck and kiss him again.

He pulled her nearer and closed the space between them. Once again Lily could feel his heart. It pounded uncontrollably, extremely fast. Her own probably did too.

"Why are you fighting this, Lily?" he asked. "You're contradicting your own feelings!"

"How would you know?" she asked.

"I know you! Your brain says one thing, your heart tells you otherwise. And which do you listen to? Not your heart, that's for sure."

"James, I can't bear it!" she whispered. "I can't go through it all again. It's too much pain! I'm scared."

"The pain doesn't have to be there! Nor does the fright! I'm here for you." he said. "Remember all the times we had! Don't you want all that back?"

Yes, Lily wanted it all back, but she was afraid. She was afraid of getting hurt and maybe not to make it through the fall. She placed her hands on James' chest, pushing him away.

"No!" she said, looking at his feet.

She could almost see James break down in front of her, and she didn't blame him. His eyes turned from being filled with love and desire to hurt and without hope. They slowly filled with tears, as did Lily's. She had never seen James cry and had until this moment been sure it would never happen. James wasn't the kind of guy who cried. He was the kind of guy, who would make everyone laugh at a funeral or make everyone smile and make peace with their enemies. Not a guy who would cry over a girl. A simple girl. He could always go find another one and move on.

"You're everything that I want," he whispered.

"You too," Lily whispered. "But we lost it…"

"No," he said. "You must not believe that!"

The truth was that Lily actually didn't really believe it. She just tried to convince herself more than James. Why she did it, was still a mystery to her own self.

"How can you believe it, Lily?!" he asked, with a raised voice. "How can you say it?"

She shook her head; she didn't believe it, but why was she arguing with herself? Why was she thinking one thing and doing another?

"Because-" her voice snapped, "because I've moved on."

'Liar!' a voice inside of her screamed, 'Liar!'

If she had thought James had broken down before, it was nothing like what happened now. Tears fell from his eyes and he closed them. He shook his head slightly.

"I can't believe it…" he whispered.

He looked at her, searching her eyes and Lily was sure he'd see right through her lie, so she looked away. He slowly let go of her hands.

"I love you," he said softly.

Lily trembled. "I love you too."

"Then why are you lying?"

"I'm no-"

She was again stopped as James pressed his lips against hers. Lily welcomed his lips and responded the kiss. This time James was the one to break away.

"Liar," he whispered with closed eyes but slowly opened them.

Lily didn't answer. She looked away, and could feel James searching for her eyes again, but she didn't look back.

"I've got to go," she whispered.

James made to grab her hands but only caught one. Lily turned and gave him a last look before letting go of his hand and storming away.


	7. Taking Decisions

Disclaimer: I really own nothing. The text I've used is from a song called 'Thank God I Found You' sung by Mariah Carey. Also the characters aren't mine x)

7 – Taking decisions

Lily had left the party right after her encounter with James. She knew James would be looking for her and that was the reason for her early leave. She had barely thrown her shoes off at home before someone knocked on the door. She feared it was James, and let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was only Sirius, but he didn't look happy at all.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he yelled.

Lily took a step backwards. "What?"

"Have you got any idea what you've done to James?!"

Lily shook her head. "No, I-"

"Didn't think?!" Sirius ended her sentence. "That's obvious! His heart is broken and I'm not sure he'll ever be the same again! He broke completely down – which I've never seen him do before – and talked rubbish for five minutes before I began to understand!"

Lily shrank in size at Sirius' words and glares. It was obvious he was mad at her; a thing Sirius had never been before.

"Lily, you're my friend and I love you, but I love James too and he's like my brother and I can't bear to see him like this! And it's all because of you! YOU'VE BROKEN HIS HEART! Torn him up on the inside! Played with his feelings! That's so mean! That's so LOW! I never expected such a thing from you!"

Tears grew on Lily's eyes and slowly started to fall. She felt bad for the way she had acted. And the truth was that she didn't know why she had acted the way she did.

"Lily…" Sirius' voice was now calm again. "You can still make right what is wrong. I'm not sure he'll make it through if this keeps going on. He can't live without you, and I can see you can't live without him either. He's lost without you! He would give up everything for you and what do you do?..."

Lily stopped listening there as it had clicked inside of her head. She knew what she had to do at once. Sirius' words had hit the exact spot.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake Lily, say something!"

Lily nodded slowly. "Okay… leave!"

"I- what?" Sirius said, but stopped suddenly.

"Leave," she repeated calmly. "Leave and don't come back."

"But, Lily! James, he's-"

"LEAVE!" she shouted. "NOW!"

She didn't need to say it again. Sirius was gone the next second; obviously afraid of her. Lily stood alone in the hall for a couple of seconds before she slammed the door and stormed towards her study room.

She searched through all her drawers before she found what she was looking for: a piece of parchment that was torn at the middle. She folded it carefully and turned towards the living room.

She stopped in front of the fireplace, looking into the cold ash. She took a deep breath and grabbed a jar filled with green powder. She took a pinch and threw it into the cold ash that suddenly burst up into green flames. She stepped inside of them and sighed deeply.

"Potter Mansion!" she said with an insecure yet strong voice.

She started to spin around very quickly, pulling her elbows into her body; she had had enough bruises to ever forget to do that. She suppressed the urge to throw up and suddenly she slipped out on a warm carpet. She coughed silently and got up, brushing some ash off her dress.

Then she looked up. It was all dark; apparently James' parent had gone to bed and James too. She took a deep breath before she headed out of the living room, into the kitchen and further into a hall where the door to James' room stood. She laid her ear at the door, but it was all silent. Maybe he wasn't there. She grabbed the handle, sighing deeply before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

She had only been at James' room once before, and that was on one Easter holiday where they had gone to his house for the day and Lily had met his parents. The room still looked the same.

The walls were cream coloured and filled with posters, pictures and Gryffindor banners. Several of the posters had men and women wearing grey robes and riding brooms while flying in and out of them. Over James' bed were quite a lot of big pictures of him and the rest of the Marauders, Lily and other people at Hogwarts, including Victoria and Melanie. The biggest picture was one of James and Lily holding each other, lost in each other's eyes in the middle of a corridor at Hogwarts and surrounded by people passing them. Now and then the Picture-Lily and Picture-James kissed each other and people sent them happy glances. It was taken right after they had started to date.

But what caught Lily's attention was the person laying on the bed. It was James and he laid all curled up, like a cat, with his back at her and staring into the wall. His glasses stood on top of the bedside table. He had not yet taken off his tux, but his shoes did stand on the floor next to the bed.

Lily closed the door behind her and it made a little click that made James turn and look at her. His eyes were slightly red; he had cried. He looked clearly bewildered but managed to push himself a bit up. His hand slowly ran through his hair, making it stand up and get away from his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

Lily slowly moved over and sat down at the edge of his bed, looking into her own hands.

"I came here to apologize," she said.

"For what?" he asked rudely. "Breaking my heart?! Humiliating me in front of everyone?! Telling me that you love me and then that we can't be together?!... Because there's no need for that as it happens every day to me!"

Lily could clearly hear the sarcasm and bitterness in his voice, and tears formed in her eyes with every one of James' hard words. She still had her little piece of parchment clutched tightly in her hand.

"Yes…" she whispered, "and for being an idiot who was afraid of love and the only person who could help me. James, I was scared, and when I'm scared I run and hide."

"It really helps me now," he said bitterly.

"I also came to give you this," she said and slowly handed the parchment to him.

He took it and unfolded it. She still looked down and could feel him search for her eyes after he'd read it.

"You're giving it back to me?" he asked, not showing any feelings.

"Yes… well, no," she said hesitantly. "I give you the choice. The two pieces belong to two people. One for each of them who loves the other, remember? Keep my part and say you want me out of your life, never to return again; give me your part and say you want me back and accept my apology."

James looked stunned at the parchment.

"So you don't care?" he asked, looking down.

"Of course I care… That's why I give you the choice. I trust you to make the right decision."

James got up from the bed and walked over in front of his desk, looking out of the window. "I really don't know, Lily…" he said.

Lily closed her eyes, hoping he made the right choice. He stood by the window for what seemed like a long time. For every second, Lily's hope faded a little bit more. After a minute, she got up.

"Okay," she said tearfully. "I get it. I'm going now, James…"

James turned around. He took a long step over to her and grabbed her hands. She didn't feel the parchment in his hand and feared he'd just say goodbye.

"'I would give up everything, before I'd separate myself from you'," he whispered.

Lily was stunned for a couple of seconds before she smiled. James smiled back.

"'After so much suffering, I've finally found unvarnished truth'," she smiled with tears in her eyes.

"'I was all by myself for the longest time, so cold inside'."

"'And the hurt from the heartache would not subside, I felt like dying,"

"'Until you saved my life," James ended the poem, and dried her last tear away. "I love you Lily."

Lily smiled as James kissed her lightly. "I love you too, James."

"And here's your new part."

Lily took the half parchment piece from his hand. She opened it and looked at the words. They didn't make any sense as it was only the last few words from each line of the poem, but along with the piece James had now, it made the poem that James had once written for her. The first thing she did when she had read it was to tear it over at the middle and give one half to him with the words, "As long as we have one piece each, we have a piece of love each."

Lily snapped out of her thoughts as James pressed his lips against hers. Lily smiled widely as she kissed him back and placed her arms around his neck. She could feel his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him while he slowly walked backwards. As the back of his legs bumped into the bed he slowly turned Lily around and laid her down on it. They broke apart for a second to catch their breaths. Lily studied James' eyes. She had never before seen them filled with such passion, happiness, excitement, love and fulfilled desire, and was taken aback by how a powerful effect they had on her.

As he kissed her again the voice in her head from the wedding was all gone, and she didn't think other things than how much she wanted this guy and no one else. She was where she belonged.


	8. Morning

Wow. My very last chapter of this story. I hope you've all enjoyed this story! I've enjoyed writing it. Thanks to my Beta Kaitlyn who has been an amazing help to me. Another thanks to all of my readers. You are amazing! So let's continue, shall we? Please enjoy and remember to leave feedback ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, James wouldn't be with Lily :P haha

8 – Morning

Lily woke up early the next morning, considering how late it was when she fell asleep last night. She slowly sat up and as she did so, she felt someone's arm around her. She looked down and caught a glimpse of James in the dark. His hair was messy as always, his eyes were closed and he had a peaceful and happy expression on his face with a slight open mouth. He was fast asleep.

She looked out of the window and saw the dark sky outside; it couldn't be more than seven in the morning. She slowly slid out of James' embrace and the covers. She looked around only to find her dress from the wedding laying on the floor. She frowned, sending the closets a look. She quickly walked over to them and opened one.

It was literally filled with junk. Broken quills covered the bottom along with empty bottles of ink, a Quaffle, books, crumpled parchment, socks and half a broomstick. A whole broomstick stood leaned against the back of the closet. In the top, a golden snitch flew around, not knowing where to go.

Lily shook her head and closed the closet door. She opened the next one and felt successful there. It was filled with clothes. Lily started to go through the first stack. It was full of James' t-shirts. She took one and put it on, but halfway through, she ran into something she had almost forgotten about. It was a skirt of her own. She must have forgotten it in the Easter holidays that she spent at the Potters. She grabbed it smiling and saw another thing of hers. It was a simple red top. She smiled and grabbed it too. She looked at it for a second and then threw it over beside James. She had to leave something behind.

After she got dressed, she made her way out of the room with the dress over her arm, but she stopped suddenly when James moved a bit. She looked over at him, but found he had only turned in his sleep. She frowned and then dropped the dress.

Walking over to the desk, she grabbed a quill and opened an inkbottle. For a minute she just looked at a piece of parchment, then at James, and she smiled. She couldn't remember to ever feel this happy before, but was glad she finally felt so. After months of being sad she thought she actually deserved it.

Several minutes later, she raised her letter and reread it.

'James, sorry I had to leave early, but I've got plans. I had a wonderful time last night, and hope you did too. I left a top, which I believe is mine, beside you, but I had to take my skirt. Hope you can forgive me.

Love, Lily.'

She got up and attached the letter to the pillow and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. Sighing she left the room. The hall was less dark than James' room. Lily had only stepped out when she heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. She quickly pushed the door to James' room open again and jumped inside. From there, she saw Eleanor, coming from the kitchen, yawning and with extremely messy hair. It was easy to see that she was related to James. She stopped for a short moment and looked as if she had listened to something and Lily held her breath. After a couple of seconds Eleanor shrugged and continued to the bathroom.

Lily took this as her chance before she almost ran into the kitchen and then the living room. She grabbed a pinch of green powder from inside a jar, and then she went home.

Lily was smiling widely as she stepped out of the shower about half an hour later. She was in a fantastic mood that morning, and in about another half an hour she was about to visit Alice and Frank to say goodbye to them before they left for two weeks.

Lily quickly brushed her hair, dried it and found a headband to hold it away from her face. She smiled to herself in the mirror before she grabbed her wand and Disapparated.

She was met by Alice with a loud squeal and a hug in which she got most of Alice's dirty blonde hair into her mouth.

"Well, I'm glad to see you too Alice," Lily grinned.

"I'm married!" Alice exclaimed in a very excited tone.

Lily grinned. "I'm only a little bit jealous," she said. "Okay, a lot."

Alice laughed. "I'm so happy! But I have a question, Lily…"

"What?" Lily asked, frowning.

"Errm… Where were you last night? I didn't see you one time after ten I think."

"Err…"

"And so with James. I saw you were dancing, and then, minutes later you were gone, and a quarter later James was too. What happened?"

Lily swallowed, blushing slightly. "We kissed."

"WHAT?!" Alice exclaimed. "Okay, okay, okay! Then you slapped him or what? Because he didn't look too happy."

Lily looked down. "I said we couldn't be together. Then I went home."

Alice sighed and grabbed her hands. "Lily, are you okay?"

"Actually," Lily said slowly. "I'm more than okay. Sirius visited me… He put things into perspective and so on…"

"Err?" Alice said.

Lily was now biting her lower lip. "Well… I went to James' and… I spent the night there…"

Alice's jaw dropped. "Oh – my – God!" she said shocked but then smiled widely. "You…! So what? Are… Are you together now or what?"

"I think so," Lily said and shrugged.

"Wow," Alice sighed. "Some kind of journey…"

Lily nodded. "But it doesn't matter at the moment," she said. "Where're you going?"

Alice suddenly smiled secretly. "I won't tell you!"

"Alice!"

Suddenly Frank appeared at the door. His hair was extremely messy, but only James could outrun him, and he looked tired. He smiled at the sight of Lily, but turned his attention to Alice first.

"Honey," he said. "Maybe you should pack the rest soon. The train leaves in two hours."

Alice nodded with her eyes still set on Lily. "Sure."

"And hi, Lily," he added.

"Hey," Lily smiled back.

"Guess where Lily slept last night!" Alice blurted out and looked excitedly at Frank.

Frank narrowed his eyes and looked at Lily. "Please don't tell me at Sirius'!"

Lily laughed. "No, don't worry Frank."

"Where then?"

Lily looked at her watch. "Well. I'm sure Alice can tell you all," she said and winked at Alice, "she seems to want to."

"Lily?" he asked.

"It was at James'!" Alice shouted even more excited than before and then clasped her hands over her mouth.

Frank looked at Lily with a glint in his eyes. "Really?"

Lily nodded, slightly embarrassed. "But just forget it for a moment! You're on the way to your honeymoon!"

"Oh, that's right," Frank said. "Alice I want you to go pack right now!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Alice said and turned.

"Well, I'm going now," Lily said.

"Already?" Alice asked and turned back.

"Yes… You're busy and I'm tired."

Alice ran out and gave her a hug. "I'm so happy for you, Lily!" she said.

Lily smiled. "And for the first time in a really long time, I'm happy too."

She waved goodbye to Alice and Frank before she Disapparated.

She sighed heavily as she closed the door behind her and stood alone in her hall. She lighted up the room and walked into the kitchen, only to continue to her bedroom. She pulled off her coat and threw it on the chair.

Suddenly the door behind her slammed and the room went dark. She almost screamed of surprise, but quickly regained self-control and in one swift movement she spun around and drew her wand, pointing it to the person standing at the door.

"You were gone early this morning."

Lily took her hand to her heart. "You scared me there, James."

He grinned and walked over to her and kissed her lightly. "That was the point of it," he whispered. "So why did you leave that early without waking me up?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I couldn't sleep anymore and thought you should have the right to do so."

"No wonder there," he said. "I mean, next to me; the handsome, muscular-"

Lily shoved him slightly in the chest. "I get it, you arrogant git!" she grinned.

"Ahh! But you can't resist my charms!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that…"

James smiled at her and pressed his lips against hers again. Lily smiled and gave James a very tight hug. She couldn't remember feeling this safe for a very long time.

"Breakfast?" she asked, smiling.

He shrugged. "If you can make it without burning down the house."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "I'm a pro in the kitchen, even without a wand," she said and grinned.

"Prove it," James said and kissed her neck playfully.

"I will," she said and pushed him away. "Come on."

James followed her out to the kitchen where he sat down at the table. Lily walked over to the counter where she started to boil some water in a pot. Then she turned on a pan to make eggs and bacon.

"What kind of tea do you want?" she asked.

"Earl Grey," he said from right behind her.

Lily almost jumped up as she hadn't noticed James had snuck into the kitchen and stood right behind her. She turned; ready to say something to him, but her words didn't come out as he had just pressed his lips against hers.

"I love you, you know?" he said and hugged her tightly, almost as if being afraid of losing her.

She nodded. "Yeah. I know. And I love you too."

He kissed her once more before she turned again and found a box with tealeaves in it. She could feel his breath on her neck and got chills from it.

"James, go over and sit down at the table again," she smiled.

He responded by kissing her neck. "Fine," he sighed.

She pulled out some tealeaves and cups and walked over and sat them on the table in front of James. He kept smirking at her. In some seconds they just sat looking at each other, smiling. Lily could feel the warmth inside of her the whole time. She truly was glad she had James back; almost as if she'd just woke up from a long and terrible nightmare.

Someone knocked on the door, and they both gave a start. James got up.

"No," Lily said. "I'll get it."

She got up and pushed James back in his chair. Then she walked out to the hall where she opened the door. Sirius did not look happy when their eyes met.

"You're home," he said shortly.

"Yeah," she said with a shrug.

Lily could see how he was trying to suppress some of his anger by biting his tongue. Seconds passed as they looked at each other, trying to read each other's mind.

"You're a really mean woman," he said at last.

Lily nodded. "I know."

He pushed past her into the hall. "I just can't believe you Lily! After all I told you last night. I don't get why you can just be so uncaring about it. You ha-"

"Why are you saying that?" Lily stopped him.

"Because you're a mean, mean woman!" Sirius yelled. "You hurt my best friend by playing with his feelings, and-"

He stopped suddenly as his eyes fell on the person at the door to the kitchen. Lily smiled satisfied, leaning against the wall.

"Hey, Padfoot," James grinned.

"Pro-"

"Why are you yelling at my girlfriend?" he asked, in a fake cold voice.

"She- It was- I was really- What are you doing here?!" Sirius exclaimed at last.

Lily walked over and slowly let her arms slide around James. James just smiled down at her and then at Sirius.

"Having breakfast with my girlfriend," he said, flashing a smile.

Sirius' jaw dropped. Then his eyes fell on Lily, who was smirking at him. "You little piece of s-"

"Tea?" she asked.

He sent her a snarl. "Yeah, whatever!"

"Oh, come on, Padfoot!" James grinned. "Lily will make you breakfast too!"

"Uh! The bacon and eggs!" Lily exclaimed as she suddenly realised she'd let them stand on the cooker.

She and James let go of each other and she stormed into the kitchen. Luckily the bacon and eggs weren't burned at all, but they were finished. She quickly took them off and served them.

"Breakfast guys!"

Sirius and James entered the room, laughing. Lily smiled at them before she sat down at the table.

"So Lily," Sirius grinned, "James told me you guys had fun last night. Can I have details?"

Lily sent him a cold stare. "Yeah. It was the last night that James will have fun for the next few months."

"What about fun in the day?" James grinned, receiving cheers from Sirius.

Lily shook her head. "Noooo."

"Damn!"

Sirius laughed. "In your face, Prongs!"

"Sweetie, you know how guys are," James said and grabbed Lily's hand. "Putting that aside, I love you."

Lily smiled. "I guess we can cut it down to one month."

James groaned and Sirius laughed.

"Though luck, mate," Sirius said and stuffed eggs into his mouth.

James sent him a snarl and began to eat too. Lily couldn't hold her smile back; she was truly happy and nothing could ever ruin her happiness again. She caught James' gaze; he smiled too.

This truly was their happy ending.

Taking a deep breath Yep, that's it. Please tell me what you think of it all right here :)

Vicki


End file.
